COMPASSION for SELF
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Compassion for Self,
3 Tips
In my practice in Topsfield I encourage my clients to have compassion for self. “How”, I ask, “can one have compassion for others if we do not have it for ourselves?” This weekend I had the opportunity to practice compassion for self, for myself, and it was a little difficult.
Like many of you I had a “To-Do” for this past weekend that was a mile long. It looked something like this:
- Entertain Friday night
- Work Saturday
- Pay Harmony bills
- Pay personal bills
- Run 6 miles Sunday AM
- Clean, really clean, the house
- Groom Nina (the therapy dog, puppy)
- Groom Zorro (the Greyound)
- Trim Maya’s toes (the cat)
- Box up house wares for donation
- Switch out spring and summer clothes for fall and winter clothes
- Box up clothes for donation
- Put away kayaking gear
- Make soup
- Make lunches for the coming week
My weekend was only two days as now see clients on Saturdays. Looking at the list I can now see that it was ambitious and a little light on fun. This is how the weekend panned out:
- Entertained Friday night (grew a friendship)
- Worked Saturday
- Packed the briefcase with work to bring home
- Read the recent edition of Utne Magazine
- Took the dogs for a long walk Sunday AM
- Went to Crane Beach with Nina and a friend and went for another long walk (Nina socialized and ran a round off leash)
- Went to lunch with the same friend (grew a friendship)
- Took a two hour nap
- Began reading “Proof of Heaven”
- On Monday I met a friend for coffee and we decided to do the Open Studio Tour of Cape Ann. We also visited the Common Crow in Gloucester and I stocked up on healthy food.
- Made soup
- Made lunches for the week
Out of the original list, 15 items, I completed 4. I am leaving myself wide open for my inner critic to yell at me. By practicing compassion for self I am able to say, “Hey, I had fun! The house will be there to clean another time, dogs and cat can be groomed another time. I did what absolutely needed to get done and I took a chunk of time for myself and for connecting with friends which matches my values more than a clean house.”
By no means am I saying self-compassion is easy. If you are having a difficult time with it here are 3 Tips for practicing self-compassion.
Tip #1 for Compassion for Self
What would I say if I were my best friend? (Let’s strive to be our own best friend)
Tip #2 for Compassion for Self
Remind yourself that you are perfect in your imperfectness, as we all are
Tip #3 for Compassion for Self
Develop a few self-compassionate phrases or questions that you can repeat to yourself. Examples are, “What do I need in this moment?” “How can I show myself kindness?”
I hope you found these tips helpful in becoming more self-compassionate. If you would like to learn more about compassion call a local mental health professional and of course you can always call Harmony Counseling in Topsfield MA, 978-561-1927 to arrange an appointment.
~Katherine Ryan is a LMHC (Licensed Mental Health Counselor) practicing in Topsfield, Massachusetts where she enjoys helping adults, children and teens become unstuck.
